yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
