i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
