I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
