suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
