wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
