i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
