so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
