My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
