Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
