Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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