I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
