Having a random hookup so left but love u
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
