can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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