she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
