Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
