Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
