you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Your penis caused this!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
