covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize