just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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