yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
is it fun? or sober?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
