Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
