All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
