haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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