she smelled like a LAN party
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
