I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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