I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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