whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
