He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
