super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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