3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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