glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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