Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize