yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
