Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
