Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
