And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
