I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
