i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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