A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize