I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
