Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
