so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
