how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It was like giving head to a cactus.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
