watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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