so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
