I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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