she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
