I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
