My first STD was from a foam party
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
