physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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