just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
