that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
