its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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