Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
