Ambien. No doubt about it.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
So. Much. Porn.
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