She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
