these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
