OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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