i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
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