some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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