lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
