At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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