Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you didnt know i had herpes?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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