Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My butt remains clenched, sir.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize