Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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