Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize